Many saints suffered horribly before they were canonized, and some moms seem determined to make their case to the Pope. All that’s left is the performance of a miracle. However, on some days it’s miraculous that our progeny is still alive at the end of the day, so they might have a point there. But I’m going somewhere with this, trust me.I’ll let you in on a little secret. I watch Brothers & Sisters. I know, I know. It’s cheesy and soap-opera-y, which makes it worse because it truly isn’t trying to be either. It is supposed to be a drama, dammit. With dramatic, sweeping moments and dramatic, sweeping themes. Respect them! Do not lump them in with Desperate Housewives! Ignore the fact that it comes on right after! And even though I loathe the walking, talking, toothpick that is Calista Flockhart, there is something about the show that compels me to watch it every week.One of the biggest story arcs of the series is that Nora, the matriarch of the family played by Sally Field, and you can’t have more dramatic street cred than an Oscar, can you has long put her family first and with her kids grown up and her husband dead, is trying to find herself and her place in the world.I don’t like it.In fact, I don’t like it at all when women who have been stay-at-home mothers play the whole “I don’t know who I am any more” martyr card when their children no longer need them as much. The deep mournful sighs, the jagged crying into cupped hands, the irrational behavior. It’s a bit much, methinks.You didn’t “lose” yourself. You were there the entire time, right Seriously, though, your life may not have turned out the way you thought it would, but you were no more or less yourself for putting your kids first. Being a mom is not supposed to be this huge burden which creates an existential crisis which you take years to recover from! Did you make choices you regret Well guess what, we all do! Even people who don’t have kids look back at their lives and wonder what happened sometimes.So, enough of the martyrdom, please. If you want to see what a real martyr is, check out St. Refka. And if you think taking care of your kids can top being thrown into boiling water and being squashed by large wheels, then state your case in the comments.